tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post2985752683237617307..comments2023-08-23T12:38:02.567+01:00Comments on As if you care.: On parenting and support networks; a theoryDave Yhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09485345030558890105noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post-57743953539834341482008-09-24T03:40:00.000+01:002008-09-24T03:40:00.000+01:00Maybe our polygamist ancestors had the right idea....Maybe our polygamist ancestors had the right idea...Lyf2.0https://www.blogger.com/profile/06704029261189672671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post-54304522705748714702008-09-23T17:50:00.000+01:002008-09-23T17:50:00.000+01:00I've thought about this a lot too. Why? Because of...I've thought about this a lot too. Why? Because of Alice from the Brady Bunch. I don't remember Mrs. Brady having a job but it was obvious that she needed Alice around to make the household run smoothly (unless the plot demanded otherwise). You go back just a generation before us and it was accepted that you either lived by family or you had "help." <BR/><BR/>I think a lot of the change can be attributed to the de-valuing of domestic management. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Holly Homemaker but before it was much more recognized that running a household was a full-time job. (And it really was since mothers sewed a lot of the families clothing, baked all the meals, did laundry by hand etc along with the majority of parenting) <BR/><BR/>Now you rarely hear the term home maker. It's been replaced by "stay at home mom/dad" which I think sucks. It makes it sound like they're just hanging out at home while everyone else drives in to the office and does a real job. And if the stay at home parent is "just staying at home"=not really working, then why should they need help and support? They're already on permanent vacation. <BR/><BR/>I think that unrealistic attitude feeds the isolation, lack of respect and support that parenting gets.Just Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09045978361844799935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post-24875038490923909822008-09-18T22:37:00.000+01:002008-09-18T22:37:00.000+01:00I have been thinking a lot about this too, the cha...I have been thinking a lot about this too, the change of society's role in helping to raise families. Of course, my thoughts were spurred by you talking to me about yours. I feel like a pretty conscientious, caring parent, but I recognize that we can't do it all alone. We need help. I am happy that we can help out for someone like this. I have been touched by all of the people who have offered to help us and Isabel and Amanda. I wish that I would have been more thoughtful on this subject years ago, and looked for ways to help people instead of waiting for them to ask.Shellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08520694321355830628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post-63443211239975005782008-09-18T14:25:00.000+01:002008-09-18T14:25:00.000+01:00I don't even think it was as long ago as Rob descr...I don't even think it was as long ago as Rob describes - that was certainly my childhood, I was a latchkey kid and so was my sister, which ended about 15 years ago.<BR/><BR/>I know my wife and have discussed that if we have kids we may have her mom move down to be closer to us. In talking with friends who have children, the ones who have at least one set of their parents nearby have it far easier (in terms of day care options) than those that don't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post-69397912490810815932008-09-18T03:17:00.000+01:002008-09-18T03:17:00.000+01:00This may apply to older kids than you're talking a...This may apply to older kids than you're talking about, Dave, but even as recently as 20-30 years ago I don't think parents spent anywhere near as much time with their kids whatsoever. These days parents constantly cart their kids around to playgroups and soccer practices, and their kids are under constant adult supervision. A generation ago, I think kids where pretty much left to their own devices, to run around the neighborhood unsupervised, or supervised by the other kids. Today's child-rearing lifestyle places a much higher burden on parents then the olden days.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14178931660649723286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26056748.post-7304814321665549202008-09-18T01:10:00.000+01:002008-09-18T01:10:00.000+01:00I think another key fallout of this 'privatization...I think another key fallout of this 'privatization' of the home is basic trust. <BR/><BR/>The truth is that the scariest thing about letting my kids (if I had any yet) go out with other parents, or other families, or even to daycare sounds scary just because I've been raised to pretty much think that I can't trust strangers.<BR/><BR/>They can't raise my kids correctly. They can't teach the right values. They can't love my kids like I love my kids.<BR/><BR/>Granted, none of that may be true. The average person that I see at church, or work, or even in my neighborhood is a good, wholesome person who would just make a kid better overall.<BR/><BR/>But we've been taught to not trust people as much as used to. And that makes it all that much harder imo.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com